Updated: Mar 24
Guest writer for "mynzdream" blog
You are not responsible for the programming received in your childhood. However, as an adult, “you are one hundred percent responsible to fix it”
Many people may know this but still blame others for everything that goes wrong in their lives.
Such quotes and pieces of advice may sound nice but most of us actually really take it to heart.
Here’s a quick question to test this: How many of you have had one tragedy you never thought you'd ever overcome but you actually did?
You went through something so darn scary you were afraid your entire life would shatter into pieces!
Like the boogeyman coming to get you, yet you magically escaped this dream.
Except for this one's reality. It's real life.
Bad things happen. Even for the most well-put-together people.
Others are simply better at making it seem like that's not the case to save face. So, my point is even in your quest to be your best self and do things correctly, things will go wrong.
AND YOU MUST BE OKAY WITH THAT.
Anyone who has grand ambitions and wants to rise above the status quo will be challenged...whether that's by people, present circumstances, or your own thinking.
So today I give you permission to
· Be your best, but stop trying to be damn perfect.
· You don't always need clarity or confidence to make things happen. You simply need to take action.
· Plan well but don’t be ashamed and afraid of not succeeding the first time.
And by actually following through on these three tenets above, you will escape your childhood programming.
Remember, you did not have the ability to change your parents’ method of parenting, but as an adult, you can change your method of thinking.
Whether that's therapy, counseling, going to the gym, or getting a coach to help you. The world gives us what we put in...and we only have a fair shot when we see things that way and not lie to ourselves.
Remember, you are creating your experiences, your success, the quality of your relationships, your health, your finances by your thoughts, beliefs, and the visual images you focus on. And you have control over all three of these.
Personal responsibility is the key to personal empowerment.
Without self-judgment or self-blame, you can focus your attention on understanding yourself and your range of choices that may be possible in any circumstance. With this awareness, you can make educated, intentional choices.
When your choices don’t result in you getting things the way you thought you wanted them, you can look to understand what happened and what action you can take next, rather than looking for someone or some circumstance to blame.
Every outcome you experience in life results from how you’ve responded to an earlier event or events in your life. If you don’t like the outcomes you’re currently getting, there are two basic choices you can make. But, know that in every situation you have a choice.
Between the stimulus and response is space. In that space lies our freedom to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Victor Frankl
There are factors that can contribute to the outcome but if they were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed. For every reason why something is not possible; there are hundreds of other people who have faced the same circumstances and succeeded.
You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head, and you can change your behavior. You can break out of your conditioned responses to circumstances, increase your awareness, and change your actions.
You can simply STOPP:
Stop: Say stop when you notice your minds and body entering an undesired state.
Take a breath: When focused on breathing, you are not focused on the current situation.
Observe Yourself: Be aware of what you are thinking about and whether there is something more beneficial you could be thinking about.
Pull Back and Put into Perspective: Evaluate the health of your thinking in light of your goals.
Practice Behaving How You Want to Act Instead: What would you rather see happen and make the shift.
We are the only ones responsible for the life that we want. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your incomes, your debts, your feelings---everything. That’s not easy. In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don’t like. So STOPP, regain your control, and be 100% responsible for your results.
Until the next time,
May you speak words of positivity, seek people that are open-minded, show daily gratitude, remain passionate about your desires, stay motivated into action and be an inspiration to others. And may your music always be heard!
Your Friend, Sheryl